This is only a short column, usually about 800 words. But for this current issue, I kept putting off writing it. Not because I don’t enjoy writing – I do, or because I am not interested in the topic – I am, but quite simply because I couldn’t be bothered.
I’ve been feeling that way quite a bit lately; binge-watching Ted Lasso, living in active wear despite hardly ever being active, and laying in bed each morning aimlessly scrolling through social media.
Before COVID, this state of wellbeing may have been concerning, but as we continue to navigate the pandemic, feeling “blah” has almost become the new mental health norm. The New York Times released an article in April this year discussing this feeling – not happy, not sad – but “languishing”.
What is languishing?
Coined by sociologist Corey Keyes, languishing is the often-neglected middle child of mental health, a no-mans-land between depression and flourishing.
Keyes suggests that people most likely to experience major depression and anxiety disorders following the pandemic aren’t the ones experiencing symptoms today: they’re those of us who are languishing right now. New evidence from healthcare workers in Italy supports this, showing that those who were languishing in the spring of 2020 were three times more likely than their flourishing peers to be diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Part of the problem with languishing according to Adam Grant, organisational psychologist and author of the now viral New York Times op-ed, is that when you’re languishing, you might not notice the dulling of delight or the dwindling of drive. You don’t catch yourself slipping slowly into solitude; you’re indifferent to your indifference.
How do we know if we’re languishing?
Unlike depression or anxiety disorder, languishing is a series of emotions, not a mental health condition.
“Languishing encompasses distressing feelings of stagnation, monotony, and emptiness,” says psychiatrist Leela R. Magavi.
I know I’ve certainly felt most of these emotions in one capacity or another throughout the pandemic, but I also thought that feeling like this would be a temporary thing – but I’ve been living in Blah-town for a while now, with no clear end in sight.
According to previous research by Keyes in 2002, about 12% of adults met the criteria for languishing. We could expect this number to have increased dramatically during the pandemic.
One person who understands languishing acutely is my friend Jasper. Jasper is a healthcare worker in the United States. He has witnessed the devastating impact of this virus from the frontline, treating COVID patients, and eventually becoming one himself. Having recovered physically from the effects of the virus, Jasper still finds himself in what he dubs his “COVID funk”.
“Physically, I am doing much better, but emotionally, I don’t really feel good or bad. I’m not as motivated or as present as I used to be, and every little task is much more draining than before,” he says.
Then there’s Emma, whose new normal is alternating between feelings of fatigue and no motivation to quick bursts of energy when starting something new, only to feel unmotivated again soon after.
“I’ve found the perfect word to describe how I am feeling lately,” she recently shared with me. She went on to describe how a colleague had recently been asked how they were feeling, replying that they were “languishing”. “And I just thought YES! That perfectly describes how I am feeling!” said Emma.
Jasper agrees that languishing is the perfect way to describe how he has been feeling.
“I constantly feel like I’m either lazy or making up excuses, but it’s just this weird state of nothingness and knowing that I’m not functioning at my usual full capacity,” says Jasper.
What can we do about it?
We still have a lot to learn about what causes languishing and what we can do about it.
I have been trying to make small but consistent changes to my life and taking time to appreciate even the smallest of wins. I look for projects that have a realistic chance of being completed, because completion yields a sense of satisfaction that directly combats languishing. I also give myself credit for what I have achieved – even if it is watching two seasons of Ted Lasso in one weekend!
And as my friend Tiff Cook reminds me, avoid the self-sabotage. Keep setting clear, meaningful goals that drive you forward and give you hope and energy.
“Setting and achieving meaningful goals provides us with a sense that we are making progress, even when it seems insignificant in the moment. If those goals and hopes are dashed, it can produce a whole host of negative emotions,” says Tiff.
One meaningful goal can be as easy as trying to being honest when someone asks, “How are you?” Instead of going straight to our default reply of saying “Great!” try answering honestly. “Actually, I’m languishing at the moment.”
How refreshing would that be!
As promised, here is my podcast recommendation! If you are looking for some great motivation to shift you from languishing to flourishing, check out Tiff Cook’s podcast “Roll with the punches” on Apple Podcasts.
This article was first published in Associate Professor Erin Cotter-Smith’s regular column “Let’s Talk Mental Health” in the Australian Emergency Services Magazine, Vol 26, Issue 5, 2021.
